i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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