She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think I won the penis lottery.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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