Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
