Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
