DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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