Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
