so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
