Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
