The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
