Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
