let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
