Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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