I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
