READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
