i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
