If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
