Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
