Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm too high and old for this...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
