youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
