I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
