I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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