i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
