apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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