Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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