The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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