I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
