All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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