lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
