Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
