i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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