1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
