'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
