WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
