i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
