It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
