I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
