She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
