This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
