we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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