Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
