You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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