how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
