Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
