in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
