I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge๐ค
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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