Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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