This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it's like iHOP with fire
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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