he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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