New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
