On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
its liver damage thursday
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
